I don’t know why I feel like crap most of the time. I’m not just talking about physically feeling lousy. It seems like I spend most of time time feeling either depressed, anxious, or angry.

These feelings don’t gradually come on, it seems more like a switch is flipped, and suddenly I find myself in a dark, despondent mood. Sometimes I can talk myself out of it quickly, but most of the time it hangs on for hours. I don’t like these feelings. Some people seem to get off on being angry and morose. I don’t think I’m one of them. At least I hope that I’m not, in some screwed up way, enjoying these negative feelings.

When I look at my life, I sometimes wonder why I feel so negative about everything. There are a LOT of people that are a hell of a lot worse off than I am who seem to be able to remain positive and upbeat. The fact that I can’t seem to do that really bothers me. It makes me think there is something wrong with how I percieve my existence.

I feel that I should be able to spend more of my time feeling good about myself and my life. I hate myself for always looking at what is wrong, instead of appreciating what is right.